Dream Scenarios

Dear LA Drivers,

You really should check your mirror after parking but before throwing your driver's side door open to get out. You seem to miss that rush hour traffic is driving towards you, the passenger sides of our cars about a foot away from the safely parked cars on the right. Inexplicably, you usually follow this stroke of genius by stepping out of your car as soon as you open your door, defying fate like the entitled rebel that you are.

Similarly, instead of waiting by the end of your parked car for a break in traffic, you walk right into the street to get in your car. Again you seem not to care that cars are barreling towards you at full speed.

I also note that you enjoy parking, opening your driver door as wide as it will go and walking away.*

Or you'll open said door in said manner and lean into your car to look for something, your butt hanging out for me to see and quickly look away from. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but there are doors on the other side of your car. You could look for the lost item from the right...

My dream scenario for these situations is as such: I swerve my car gently to the right and I take your door off. I'll make it your choice if you're in my path or not, I'm feeling generous. The only things holding me back are that I would get in trouble with the law and that there would be damage to my car. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who's felt this way before.

So keep that in mind the next time you're about to park or about to get back in your car.

Thanks!

*My second place dream scenario for this situation is that I park my car to the side, look in my mirror and wait for a break in traffic before exiting, engage my car alarm, walk to your car and get in, driving it around the first corner and parking it where you can't see it. I would then leave your keys in the ignition, walk the long way around the block and wait for a break in traffic before getting back in my car and driving away.